The Secret In the Sauce

Well, we had a total meltdown last night over homework, again. Nothing new here. He started giving me lip so he took '8' and went nuts banging on the door and screaming horrible things (names, demands, more names). Wow. When he does that, I try to re-direct my attention and bridge or turn on some music or the TV and wait for the timer to tell me his time is up. There is nothing more I can do while he is down there losing it so I figure if he thinks I don't listen and he isn't actually pushing my buttons, he will eventually give it up. If he was calling me horrible names to my face, that's different. Sigh. The good news is that I totally kept my cool. That's something to celebrate and a success for me when he literally flips out. I came across a wonderful quote today that I have never heard before but should have as it is by Winston Churchill (love that guy). It is very appropriate for this situation: "Success consists of going from failure to failure w...

One big issue right now is Preston's uncanny ability to snake candy from his friends. Whether they give it to him willingly or he barters for it I am not sure. Everyday he leaves a trail of candy wrappers around the house and it does indeed affect his behavior. He was off his rocker yesterday afternoon with energy, talking in weird voices and doing anything that might keep the attention fixed on him. I knew he had had candy and sure enough at the end of the day I emptied his pockets and he had enjoyed the fruits (artificially colored, Starburst and Laffy Taffy fruits) of his pilfering labors. I knew that he was being nuts for a reason. I ask and he always lies. That is driving me batty as well. I had a conversation with a friend and she praised him for his resourcefulness. This is 'Re-Framing' thought number one. The upside to Preston's trading or cojouling his friends for candy is that he creates what he wants. This can be an awesome trait if pointed in the right dir...

About two years ago I went over to my neighbor's house for lunch to pick her brain about parenting a child with ADHD. She loaned me the book, "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. I have turned my house upside down looking for that book and for the life of me can't find it. Then, at a lunch, our lovely hostess handed each one of us a book and the book she loaned to me was "The Explosive Child." Apparently, it really is something I need to spend some time reading right now (much to the chagrin of my mother who has been waiting ever so patiently for me to finish Pope Joan. I'm almost done Mom! I do read it!) One thing I have been working on for myself is getting to bed at the same time each evening. I have read on more than one occasion that regular bed times and bed time routines help the body recognize when it is time to 'power down' and keep your circadian rhythms in check. In doing this, my body does get very tired in anticipation fo...

Preston decided that he had finally had enough of his Mars Venus Chocolate shake. Even made with Silk Cocoa Almond Milk he couldn't do it. I mixed up my IsaLean shake (which I've been trying to get him to enjoy for the last six months now) and he snagged it off the countertop and with one sip he was in love. Fickle child. Oh well - VICTORY! Naturally I had two more cannisters of the Mars Venus shake already shipped and on their way leaving me to find a clever use for them. I can't claim it as my own cleverness (I'll give credit to Dr. John Gray on this one) but a fabulous alternative none-the-less. All hail the Brownie Batter Bites (the name however is my cleverness)! The boys love them. I love them. They are GOOD for you. I have zero guilt eating these. They should be eaten. Sad for them. Happy for us! And yes, that is a smiley face on the plate. Directions: Soften 2 Tablespoons of Unrefined, Cold-Pressed Coconut Oil Mix in 2 scoops of Mars Venus Wellness Shak...

We had the opportunity to head down south this weekend to St. George and go the Thunder Over Utah air show. It was the highlight of my weekend. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I LOVE AIRPLANES! Everybody has their thing and this is definitely one of mine. I get all misty-eyed when these planes take off and fly around; I turn into a two-year-old little boy whose biggest dream is to become a pilot. My little nephew had thought about wearing his little flight suit, and I laughed and thought, "I should have worn mine!" It isn't until later that I actually think that for an adult that could be a little strange. In another life I'll fly a fighter jet. Sigh. We also went for a hike around Pioneer Park that is mostly red rock and slot canyons. I carried Bentley around for alot of the way because he wasn't making much progress teetering back and forth unsure of what to make of the red rock and sand. He truly looked like Frankenstein. At one point, ...

First, I learned at a lovely ladies lunch yesterday that it is okay to experience emotion whether it be sadness, frustration, anger, whatever. Yes, I only  listed negative emotions simply because those are the ones we tend to have the most guilt about and stifle (anger is trickier to stifle; I'm just working on expressing it healthfully and in my own presence excluding anyone else). With that being said, I allowed myself to feel my angry emotion this morning and the amazing thing is that it dissipated much quicker than normal. I also applied my thought-labeling to it (I'm just having the thought that Preston shouldn't sneak candy) and asked myself what requirement I had that was going unfulfilled (Preston shouldn't want to eat or sneak color-tainted candies), and then moved through it and I'm over it. Very, very nice. So, what was it that evoked my angry emotion, you ask? I'll tell you. I should always assume with Preston that when he is taking is sweet t...

Dang, I'm hungry already. Oooh, sorry. Thinking out loud. So, the Identity System. The following comes from Stanley Block's book, " Come To Your Senses"  and I think it is going to be an instrumental tool for me in managing my life with a child with ADHD - well, life in general that really is just a rollercoaster:   "In itself, the Identity System is not the problem. The problem comes when it becomes dominant, preventing the ideal interplay between separation (the Identity System) and union (the Source - whatever your idea of a higher power may be). The Identity System is helpful only up to the point where development of your self becomes rigid and exclusive - when your IS story is all that you are, all that you can be, and when you do not know how to rest it. Whenever it is overactive, it restricts awareness, creates fear and disrupts the harmony and balance of the mind-body connection. This false and limited vision impairs not only how you experience yo...

Had a lovely discussion with the psychologist this week regarding behavior modification and my need to do some 'tweaking.' So, the discussion included immediate rewards and immediate consequences. He knew well the cycle I have lapsed into which is giving Preston twelve chances at something (which means that I'm nagging about something twelve plus times). This gives both Preston and I the opportunity to reach an aggitated state which equals two people having melt-downs. This means I go back to steadfastly applying 1-2-3 Magic and after two warnings he goes to his bedroom to take eight (minutes). I did this later that day and he went to a time-out and read a book calmly while in there - no kicking and screaming, banging on the door or yacking. I realized by my own wisdom how important that I ditch talking and lecturing and simply consequence or actually follow through with the '3' count. This is of equal importance with my step-son who I lecture about everything a...