The Secret In the Sauce

Life is tough. I don't know why I would have ever thought that it should or would be easy, but the more time passes the more new and exciting challenges crop up in my path. It never really works to try to maneuver around the issue because it re-appears with a vengeance. Hence, I have started telling myself, "It is what it is. So, what am I going to do about it?" This line of thinking helps me to 1)keep from panicing or riddling myself with major anxiety and 2)give me a chance to make a choice or how I will react. I actually haven't paniced much lately (which is pretty amazing) I just sigh, alot. And sometimes wish things were different but everything always happens for a reason. So, I met with my therapist last week really to vent. She has given me most of the tools I need to work through complicated issues and keep-it-together while doing so. It was one of those weeks though where everything was getting under my skin, and writhing - busy husband, very-busy toddler,...

I LOVE October! I say that and hear in my head, "That's nothing novel - everybody does!" Fall is a popular time of year because people think of a chill in the air that requires cozy sweaters, fires and snuggling. At least that's what I think of. And it usually means less yard work which means more family time (and that could really swing good or bad - my kids become caged animals!). It could also mean more board game time which I like as long as I am winning. Just kidding - I can handle it so long as the winners aren't being smug and cheeky which usually doesn't happen because it is my husband that always wins and he loves being both (to me in particular). I also love tradition (hello Friday night homemade popcorn and movie night). October seems to be the tradition 'kick-off' month as we usher in the holidays. I start pulling all my favorite scary movies (the original black and white 'The Haunting,' 'What Lies Beneath,' and 'Van...

Ah Monday. This pic was a sunset but it looked familiar this morning as it was overcast and the clouds assumed a little more color to their standard gray, white and blue. There's always a little something magical about a storm isn't there? There's also a little confinement and anxiety that comes with it - quite similar to the regular storms that come and go with a kiddo with ADHD. So, back to Monday. A small respite of sorts but also a day of trying to get your head back in the game. Preston went on a UEA trip with his Dad for three days this last week and came home as happy as can be. They biked, and ate at fun restaurants just the two of them. I was excited when he got home and hopeful for the momentum to continue but it came to a screeching halt within an hour of waking-up the following morning. He was sarcastic, back-talking and faking tantrums and anger. At church he was downright defiant and nasty. The fellow behind me stepped outside of his comfort zone and said,...

So... As we know kids with ADHD struggle with linking their present actions to future consequences. This is where being a parent is challenging as we try to teach and train and consequence and re-inforce despite the fact that they don't get it like other kids will. I continue to give Preston choices that he has to live with even though most of the time it doesn't sink in. I also have to hold Preston to the same standards I hold all of my kids too; the home would fall apart if there was not a clear, set of rules and expectations that everyone has to comply with. So, if they meltdown when you ask them to clean the bathroom or take their shoes down to their room, or put a hint of a green bean on their plate, I can't back-down because I expect my other kids to clean-up and try the food on their plate. Because of their emotional erratic tendencies, you do have to go about enforcing a little different. Preston's neuropsychologist put it to me this way: "I...

I ran up to my bathroom this morning for just a minute. Every mom knows that despite thinking that the bathroom is a quiet, private place where it is an unsaid rule that you should never be bothered there - you always are. Today was no exception and Preston came wandering on up and started chattering in his usual, loud and un-aware that he is loud voice. The toddler was still sleeping peacefully just around the corner (which was miraculous in and of itself) and Preston knew that after several reminders already. I shook my head in exasperation of wanting my privacy but also that Preston was talking as loudly as if he had a megaphone attached to his face. I realized quite clearly that I couldn't be too upset because both issues at the moment were absolutely and un-deniably categorical ADHD. I have to remind myself, almost daily, that kids with ADHD are different. Not always different bad, but definitely different. They see things differently, hear things differently, (if they see...

I know this will sound totally crazy - maybe borderline absurd   - but I will often times ask something of one of my kids nicely the first time and then my tone changes with each subsequent request, until finally, I am close to yelling. And that is when they will finally make their move to comply. So, have you ever considered that in using that particular ‘technique’ you are training your kids that they only need to respond when your tone ‘means business?’ I have become hyper-aware of this issue with my youngest kiddo who is approaching his second birthday. He has become a ferret and is in to absolutely everything and he is constantly testing and pushing me – intentionally. He will get really quiet and I know he has found something or gotten into something that HE knows he isn’t supposed to. When I catch up to him he is either waiting for me with cupboard open or holding a spray bottle or he is already at work with his spoils. At any rate, I tell him ‘no’ more and more and h...

What a rollercoaster! He's up, I'm down, I'm up, he's down - and this is just between Preston and I,  not to mention the other two kids and my husband! I was really struggling last week with keeping my cool and my patience and my optimism and then I figured out the big reason why - and yes, it IS PMS. The 'P' for 'pre' is really the key here. After 30+ years I'm finally starting to understand the signals my body gives me (apparently I'm a slow learner or there really is something to the whole 'the frontal lobe doesn't get close to being fully developed until the age of 25' - so I'm just a little slow) and I noticed that for the three days prior to my period I have no tolerance. Pretty much zip, zilch, nada. I don't even have it in me to be 'mostly pleasant.' On Saturday I was downright grumpy and ready to pounce at a moment's notice! At any rate, I decided that without going into the full details of my 'ailment...