Skip to main content

Tone It Down


I know this will sound totally crazy - maybe borderline absurd  - but I will often times ask something of one of my kids nicely the first time and then my tone changes with each subsequent request, until finally, I am close to yelling. And that is when they will finally make their move to comply. So, have you ever considered that in using that particular ‘technique’ you are training your kids that they only need to respond when your tone ‘means business?’

I have become hyper-aware of this issue with my youngest kiddo who is approaching his second birthday. He has become a ferret and is in to absolutely everything and he is constantly testing and pushing me – intentionally. He will get really quiet and I know he has found something or gotten into something that HE knows he isn’t supposed to. When I catch up to him he is either waiting for me with cupboard open or holding a spray bottle or he is already at work with his spoils. At any rate, I tell him ‘no’ more and more and he doesn’t respond until I get very firm. So I am totally training him to only react when mom loses her cool.

I realized that this is why Jim Fay of ‘Love and Logic’ has you sing the ‘Uh Oh’ song. It shows them that you are in complete control and they now get to lose out on whatever naughtiness they are in the middle of. This takes effort on our part because then we have to actually DO something about it right off the bat if we do mean business. And if you are wondering what the ‘Uh Oh’ song is, google it in connection with Love and Logic but it goes a little something like this:

Uh oh! Uh oh! A little bedroom time coming up. So sad! I’ll see you when you are sweet!

Keep your cool by using certain phrases – ‘No problem!’ or ‘Not to worry!’ for the older ones while you collect your composure and decide on a plan and use the ‘Uh Oh’ song or a pleasant tone when you time them out to their room or have them do time in a corner or simply remove them from the high chair if they are throwing food! Keep yourself chill when things get nuts so your kids know that you mean business from the get go and not just when you get mad or you start yelling.  
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ah The Joys Of Summer!

Life is nuts isn't it? And we all know that it never really calms down - the challenges simply change. School's out. Yay!! (No - that's not me talking, that's my kids). My two youngest are fighting like the world might end tomorrow and they need to let each other know how annoying and despicable the other one thinks they are. The toddler manhandles Preston's Lego car and Preston throws it in anger yelling that the toddler ruined it - and not just the Lego car - his LIFE! "This is the worst day of my life!" Sigh. I suggest a simple and relaxing game of Candy Land. They show up to the game table with their best of poker faces and they are not going to let anyone or anything steal away their chance at sweet victory. Accusations of cheating and board-manipulation fly, all the while the toddler simply moves his piece from one spot to the next which is simply just too much to take for the real players. The game is over and nobody is ever playing again. My mi
6 comments
Read more

Gratitude and Re-Committing

I didn't get the 'memo' but it looks like people are doing a 22 days of gratitude type of deal in lieu of the Thanksgiving holiday. Despite it being a little cliche, there's never a really good reason to not jump on board a gratitude wagon. Aside from that, I was also inspired by the lesson in one of my church meetings yesterday, that was simply on kindness, to re-commit to a few very important goals. 1. I am grateful for all four of mine, his, and our children. Parenting and step-parenting has proven to be one of the greatest ongoing challenges of my life. Not one of my kids is like the other. They all have unique stuggles, quirks and personalities that make me want to sometimes either squeeze them like crazy with happiness or frustration. ;) They are constantly reminding me (unverbally) of what my priorities should be and they are constantly teaching me patience. If I can keep calm and carry on (thanks Mr. Churchill), I think I might actually be okay at this parenti
4 comments
Read more

Power in a Bowl

I have to attribute this fabulous recipe to my sister-in-law who has been my bosom buddy in wholesome eating for the last couple of years. She got involved with it when her son was diagnosed with speech apraxia. Since then we have shared the information we glean with one another. It is quite helpful to have someone who understands all this jargon because quite frankly, no one else does! My darling mother and wonderful father (whom I both adore) think it is all a bunch of malarkey. My dad makes fun of me by reading ingredients lists and throws in items like, arsenic, rat poison and WD-40. It's cool - I laugh. But honestly, the ingredients in alot foods might just as well be arsenic or petrol. This wonderful meal (which I have been having for lunch since I am still having my Isagenix shakes for breakfast) truly is a hearty meal. The one ingredient I failed to include in this obviously non-professionally-taken picture are Cacao Nibs. Whoa nelly those things are nasty on their own bu
2 comments
Read more