I love airplanes. I'm not a tomboy by any stretch but I love real macho stuff - guns, monster trucks, tanks, military strategy, airplanes. I also love to wear my heels and slinky dresses and go to the ballet; what can I say? At any rate, it just so happens that my husband is a pilot. In disciplining our kids, I get to hear lots of metaphorical stories from his flying experiences. I love them but they are confusing and though my kids dare not roll their eye balls to his face (as they shouldn't) I know they are doing it in their brains. I remember my brother and I always looking at each other with a pained expression in our faces when our dad would start lecturing us and he re-told stories many a time; that's when we'd joke about "here comes lecture #17."
At any rate, one thing we hear about alot is 'new day new jet.' If I understand it correctly, it essentially means that yesterday's problems with the jet don't go away; it is not a new jet. You learn from your mistakes and you fix them. Issues with the plane have to be reported and dealt with as they do not go away on their own. He suggests that you can't just scrub the past - if you get an 'F' on a test it affects your grades and doesn't go away. All of this is very true and very good. I remember in Star Trek V (which to most people that are in to Star Trek - and that doesn't mean you are a 'trekkie' - the fifth one just didn't happen) the bad guy wanted to help everyone forget their pain. Kirk was adamant that his pain was a part of who he was. His life experiences were his to grow on and he needed the bad with the good. So true and very wise.
There is a middle point with the 'new day new jet' philosophy. Every day is a new day and we have the opportunity to progress and do better. When I was trying to lose weight, I'd always think my big new plan would start on Monday. If I messed up my eating plan on Thursday, it was such a fabulous excuse to eat and do what I wanted for the rest of the week because hey, the new life to me would start on the next Monday. I eventually figured out that every day can be different, better. Some days will be good and some days will be horrendous. We make good choices and we make bad choices. It is a fact and no one single person can escape it.
With Preston, every day is a new day, new jet. I continue to teach him about the CHOICE to make each day better and learn from the bad days of the past. The past doesn't go away, and probelms don't resolve themselves. The jet will have the same problem the next day if left unaddressed. But that doesn't stop us from truly making and effot each day to make that day the best. As parents, the 'new day new jet' principle has become a lesson in forgiveness. When Preston is explosive or nasty with me, it stings and it stays with me. The next day can be difficult to want to be pleasant with him and show him love. To some degree he can't help his behavior (that dang under-developed frontal lobe!) and I have to look at him as a new jet each morning or there will never be any progression in our relationship.
So, here's a nod to it also being a new year! Learn from last year and do what it takes to see that you do improve on your goals! New day, new opportunity. And have a good laugh!
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