I'm going to out on a limb here and say that the fear of failure is probably the biggest fear that haunts us all. Yes? How often do people say, I'm not putting myself 'out there' because I'm afraid of getting hurt? I'm not going to try to do a marathon because I'm afraid I won't finish. I'm not going to try this diet, because what if I fail? I'm not going to try to write a book because people might hate it. Ican't do a Spartan race, I might die! How often do our fears keep us from greatness? From reaching our potential? From even trying? From making change that we've wanted to see in ourselves for years?
Trying something new (Spartan racing! To which I'm now totally addicted to!), something scary (for me, that would be Instagram Stories - don't ask me why), something weird (I'm thinking about eating octopus for the first time here; it's just what came to mind - all those tentacles and little suction cups!). I wouldn't be writing a blog if writing was not a passion of mine. As a kid, during the summer months off of school, I would sit in my room and write stories (yeah, I know it sounds sad but I sure loved it! And I still managed to turn out mostly normal). I loved writing assignments in elementary school and would always strive to turn in the longest paper in the class (which believe me wasn't a hard thing to do). I was always voted as, "Most Likely To Publish A Book." That and "Most Likely to Be Single Forever," because I just struggled staying interested in one guy - but that's another story.I wouldn't be sitting here today, typing away, writing ideas down for content if I had allowed poor testing and grades dictate to me that I 'wasn't good enough' or even more specifically 'that I can't write.' Here's the scoop: I was in Honors English and AP English because my teachers fought for me to be in there. They had to fight for me because I always bombed my entrance essays. I bombed my AP English test my senior year in high school - no literally, I didn't pass. I bombed my college writing placement test; I was put in remedial writing. Yep. And I will never forget hearing my remedial writing professor mention to the class one day that they needed to put in more effort because the girl who should be in an advanced writing class was asking all the questions. The funniest part of that was that I actually wondered if he was talking about me.
Then, I got serious about a major in Broadcast Journalism and I took two writing-intensive classes at once. My counselor strongly advised against it but I went for it anyway. In my magazine writing class, we were challenged on day one that anyone to get a piece of work published during the term would receive an automatic A. In the same breath she mentioned that nobody gets published on their first shot and to get used to rejection. Lots and lots of rejection. Challenge accepted! What's more, I managed to get published that term; not once, but twice. I was a junior in college and the first two pieces I submitted were accepted and published and I even got a paycheck for them! The icing on the cake was that the editor approached me and said that their magazine was looking for a writing style like mine. I shake my head as I think back on that just because I was so focused on my homework and graduating that I didn't give it much thought and didn't pursue that opportunity! Say what? That and I wasn't confident in my abilities to pull off more articles! Oh, fear and doubt rob us of so many possibilities!
Okay, okay, you've heard enough of my writing victories but here's the scoop, if I would have let my essay scores tell me whether or not I was a good writer, I wouldn't have ever been published. In fact, I probably would not have pursued a degree in journalism. If I would have given-up after being put in a remedial writing class because, man, I must suck at this writing thing, I wouldn't still be doing it today and prepping to write a book! It is crazy though how after taking a few years off from my blog, and writing on my to-do list everyday "blog," fear has been keeping me from getting back to this place in front of my keyboard doing what I love and what I excel at.
I got a little shove a month or two ago when I read Rachel Hollis say in her awesome book Girl, Wash Your Face, "As an artist or a creator, you have to decide. You have to choose a path or live the rest of your life slowly killing your ability to do great work for FEAR of what others will think. You have to decide that you are more about creating your magic and pushing it out into the world than you do about how it will be received."
"I would rather put my work out there no matter what the response will be. I would rather create in celebration of the fact that I have the ability to do so."
This was the ultimate lightning bolt:
"So I have two choices: I can write down words and send them out into the world and hope they find a home. Or I can hide my light under a bushel because I'm too afraid someone won't like the glare."
Amen sister! Life is scary! If it wasn't, what in the world would push us to grow? We don't grow in our comfort zones! We grow when we move through our fear. Okay, so I'm going to stop preaching now and let you get on with your day, but ask yourself, what is it that you WANT to do but you're letting fear and doubt tell you that you can't? Stopping wandering around the edge of the lake and jump in!
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