Friday, March 22, 2013

Stacking Yourself Up Against You and No One Else

I am blessed to have truly amazing people in my life (that's my darling dad, sister-in-law and her daughter, hubby and Curly above - I adore my family) including friends that I have made that I haven't even met yet. One such gal posted this wonderful morsel of wisdom on her facebook page and it was so perfectly phrased and rang so true to me that I would be doing a dis-service in not sharing it.

"I've been thinking about the human tendency to compare ourselves with others. WHY do we do this? It is so lose-lose!! A better way is to have an abundance mentality and look for the good in ourselves, and in others. A true friend is one who is genuinely happy for other people's successes. They understand there's more than enough success, (and talent, beauty, etc.) to go around. A better way is to compete against ourselves and try to be a little better than we were yesterday, and to encourage others along in their journey to self-improvement. Comparing ourselves to others gets us nowhere because we do it through broken lenses - we aren't capable of seeing the full picture. And we all have seasons in life. Isn't it true that so often we compare our winter with someone else's summer?
Besides, doesn't God deserve the glory for it all anyway? He and He alone is the GIVER of all good gifts!!"  ~ Nicole Hudson

Comparing, criticizing and complaining are also effective in hindering us from seeing our personal strengths and progress which ultimately lead to discouragement and even hopelessness about ourselves and our lives. It's impressive how quickly engaging in these practices or thoughts can get us off the path and render us immobile (and the goal is to always be progressing). Self-loathing and negative self-talk has never been found to be inspiring, motivating or positive and seems to produce more of the same. I'm learning to find victory in the small moments regardless of the pitfalls that also happen. Play on those good moments and remember that it is inevitable that we will make mistakes daily - if not hourly. Learn to be honest with yourself when you handle a situation wrong and be big enough to admit it and consider what the better options would be and to then seek forgiveness when it involves someone else. Guilt-trips are stupid and don't proffer any sort of good results - just shame that is most likely unwarranted. I also really like Jillian Michael's bluntness, "Perfect sucks! Perfect is boring!" And she continues to say that it is all about effort. And if you are always trying, there isn't much more to it.

Life is too short to always be beating ourselves up. There is so much happiness to be had if we focus on it!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

An Up in Vitamin B for the Brain

Sometimes the hardest part of writing is figuring out where I want to start. As a mom I feel my mind is always going in a million different directions trying to hone-in on what needs to be done in any single moment. For tonight I'm going to put some hope out there. It can be dangerous indeed but so necessary to get from one day to the next. It's a bit like swinging from vine to vine in the jungle - and there are certainly some days I misjudge the distance to the next vine and crash and burn. Oh well. Right? At any rate, we met with Preston's IEP team last week and left a little disheartened. The psychologist who in no way was pushing meds was very carefully suggesting however that we may want to re-visit this route simply because Preston has struggled to control himself in class. He's been disruptive and uber hyper and she was worried that next year might be the year that his self-esteem takes a dive for the worst because he can't control himself and recognizes that he is indeed different; it all spirals downhill from there. Sigh.

I've had this theory for awhile though - alot of Preston's struggles in school come more from his anxiety than the ADHD. When there are outside stressors (good or bad) his ADHD seems to escalate out of control. I see this when my parents stop by, when he plays with friends and even around step-dad and step-brother who are around all the time. Being adamantly stubborn when it comes to medication (although I'm not totally unjustified in how hard he was when he was on them) I have decided to give one last-ditch effort to go about this naturally. I went home and researched natural supplements for anxiety and spoke to two wellness doctors and chiropractors. I have since put Preston on a few more B vitamins (from Standard Process that is made from food as opposed to synthetically created) and am upping the fish oil. I've also been able to sneak some greens into his morning shake and that alone seemed to help his hyperactivity at home (and he hasn't noticed which is amazing because he notices everything!!). It's been a couple of days of giving him the B's in the morning and in the afternoon as well and here is where that wicked, wicked hope comes in - he's been calmer, sweeter and even more workable. Oh please be progress and not just those flukey days where his brain does better than others!

The only other thing I can do at that moment is keep praying, keep hoping, and keep my calm. I got him some Babybel cheese at the store today desptite the ridiculous price knowing how much he loves it and told him I got it because I love him and 'you are you.' I even got him to do some homework yesterday and today - as crazy as that sounds that never happens! Being positive with him is the other big key; he thrives in a positive environment. So here's to me also keeping things in perspective and choosing to manage with a fluffy fist as opposed to the iron one. ;)