Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Insanity Hits Every Day

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.


~Albert Einstein



Based on this enlightening quote, I have multiple bouts of insanity every day. This morning my first run in with it was because of Preston. The medication that Preston is on has been an absolute blessing in his and our family's life. He is calmer, more agreeable and more compliant. The last two days after school have been almost blissful. Every night when it starts to wear off and every morning when there is nothing left is when our beloved Mr. Hyde appears. Of course I know it is coming, but I push against it and I hope above all hope that maybe something else is making a difference and he'll just stay like Dr. Jekyll oh, forever. Every morning I hope and I must expect to some degree that he will be even and in good spirits but every morning is almost an all out fight to get him out the door for school. In this case knowing about Preston's issue but expecting a different result is insane.

The doctor told me to make sure get everything done that he needs to well before the medication wears off so there will be little to no demands on him when it has worn off. It's so bizarre because his whole demeanor changes and he can't focus to save his life and he becomes very emotionally erratic. That is when it becomes totally pointless to try to talk to him or have anything happen because he is almost incapable of doing it and then as a parent, patience runs out very fast because there is no compliance.

Here I am again reminding myself to stay sane and expect what I KNOW will happen and then I be the one to creatively work with it and around it. I change first and I only have control over me right? Here is a little nugget that has kept me going today - I talked to his Sunday school teacher and they were talking about being missionaries (good examples as disciples of Christ) and they asked what could be done with cookies that be could be a missionary act. One of the kids said that you could take someone who is sick cookies. Cute Preston said, "Why would you take someone who is sick cookies? Wouldn't that just make them sicker?" I laughed out loud at this because not only was it funny, but it showed me that some of what I model and teach the kids sinks in! Whenever the kids show symptoms of coming down with something we ditch the sugar because it suppresses the immune system. He knows that cookies have sugar and sugar doesn't help when we get sick. I love it! Keep plugging along!


Action Items

1) Bridge ~ Come to your senses. This is very much like counting to ten to regain composure. I have removed myself from the siutation (Preston) before to allow myself to bridge.

2) He loses it when I lose it ~ There is alot of truth in the fact that kids can sense how we feel and it affects them for better or worse. Seriously, when Mama ain't happy no one is happy - doesn't this apply to anyone in the household though? If Preston ain't happy I'm trying so hard to be happy! When I'm struggling, Preston struggles. When I am calm and he doesn't have anything to kick against, it doesn't go anywhere. He will definitely continue to try to push my buttons to get a reaction but if I stay calm and don't play into it it ends quickly.

3) Know what I know and go with it ~ This just means that I know Preston has ADHD and ODD and is the one that is not always able to regulate himself. I on the other hand am lucky enough to be able to regulate myself. I don't change the rules for him, I simply address the consequences to him in different ways depending on which Preston I am dealing with at any given moment. This action item applies to everyone. I often tell Jason that I will try to advertise when I am approachable and not approachable and I can definitely read when not to approach Jason. Sometimes I ask Jason if his 'monkey is awake' and his answer definitely helps me know how to navigate the sometimes sketchy water.

4) Have confidence in my wisdom ~ I was going to dedicate a whole post to this. I know what to do in most circumstances, it only gets cloudy when my monkey wakes up. This is when I know to bridge or do a map. Mapping is tremendously helpful for me. Jason not so much. We're all different.

5) Use Humor ~ Humor can help us all lighten up. We all fight against it when we WANT to be mad or upset or get our point across, but sometimes you just can't fight the power of humor. I just need to remember to dig into when I least feel like it.




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