I went to a neighbor's house the other night where she had a little get-together for moms to talk about 'taking care of yourself as the mom.' She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and absolutely brilliant and passionate about what she does. Any time she talks - I listen. She said numerous wonderful things and to everyone that was there I'm sure different parts stood out to them. What really hit home with me is that as I have made the choice to be a stay-home mom, I need to really have a conviction of that role. The bigger piece was this:
If you aren't having fun what you are doing, then you are doing something wrong.
I think there are two components to why Preston is thriving right now the first being nutrition and the second being my attitude and having more fun in the day.
It is my own personal, non-medical opinion that our brains are in part a result of what we feed them. If something is out of whack in the body, the rest of the body is impacted. If we can't digest our food properly, trace nutrients are not getting to where they need to be nor are they getting the job done to their best ability. I believe that Preston has had some GI issues and since taking him off his medication and putting him on the cleasning juice and nutritional shakes, his digestion has improved and his body is getting more of what it needs, getting rid of what it doesn't need and minerals are getting to the right places. His cognitive abilities right now are very much improved. Are their still issues? Yes. He still has his triggers and can still become emotional very quickly, but these meltdowns are fewer and further between, he works through them quicker and I'm starting to more easily recognize the triggers (hungry, tired, transitioning from Dad's house). All I can ask for is progress and what a blessing that I'm seeing it. I am so grateful!
2. My Attitude
I have had an enormous weight on my shoulders. As a parent, you feel that when your kid is out of whack - it comes back to you! What am I doing wrong? I am such a failure as a parent! This is tough. There is a big BUT here - we are all still born with our free agency and we all make our own choices. Our role as parent is to TEACH and TRAIN and they will experience natural consequences for their actions. They will learn from just my day to day interactions. The good and bad thing about that is that I'm already seeing it! I'm not sure when the shift happened but one day I realized that I'm going to be sucked dry by this kid or I can take care of myself, relax and just laugh! There are so many battles that aren't worth fighting!
I realized I don't want to look back on my life and remember it as years of struggle and heart ache because I chose to let it affect me that way. There are days when it does break my heart and I don't know what to do. But I'm trying to really shift my mentality to be one of optimism and hope and action! I'm doing what I can! This leads me to the '90/10 Principle' I read about just today. I'd heard the principle before but love the way this was summed up. Take 5 minutes and watch it! I also believe that if we find more gratitude in the day to day, more to be grateful for will continue to appear in our life. And we can do this in our action and reactions. I can only control me!
Finally, this wonderful lady in neighborhood also said to 'lower your standards' (they are just young, dumb kids you know? They haven't had all the experience in life that we have!) and 'look for the checkmark.' What she meant by that is God has something for us to learn when the going gets tough. I loved the perspective of the end product of parenting being the parent and not the kid. Being a parent teaches us patience, it teaches us unconditional love, it teaches us trust, it teaches us self-control, self-development. So, when the going gets tough the best question to ask is, 'What am I being taught right now? What is the lesson I'm supposed to be learning?' She also said the best way to get an answer is to pray about it and she is so right!
What have you found that has been helpful in enjoying being a parent?