I want to first say that my goal has always been to post three times a week. With that being said, although my blog is a partial outlet for me, it does come last on my 'to do' list. Anyone with kids with ADHD knows that time and energy are quickly zapped in raising these unique spirits and if I'm not up to it blogging that day, I'm not up to it. There's also the matter of expecting the 'unexpected' with my little guy. The ability to be able to adapt is all I've got to say about that. We've got to do what is best for us which is the whole mantra of this blog - you can only take care of yourself. So know what that means for you!
I also want to say that my big lesson from last week is to ration your internal resources. We are all different with our own tolerance, stress, fatigue and emotional thresholds. I read up and research tools to help me be a more effective parent and person. I learn coping strategies, parenting technqiues, healthy eating habits, and time management skills (unfortunately, I'm not very good at the latter but I am improving by default). Last week was spring break; my step-daughter came to visit and my husband was available over the weekend as well. This means that I went into preparation and planning overload mode. I was planning down to the smallest detail so that the weekend would hopefully move smoothly and that we would be able to focus our attention on each other and not 'things to be done.'
I made several trips to the grocery store to ensure enough snackage, I went to the craft store to prepare for the big easter egg hunt, I racked my brain for fun activities to keep the kids engaged, I planned the meals, the desserts, the entertainment and I cleaned. I also tried to be calm and play it cool to hopefully avoid any 'Preston Eruptions.' Amazingly, it was pretty successful. The downfall was that I ended up in the ER on Saturday with a fever, nauseated, dizzy, exhausted and with the most intense abdominal cramping I've ever experienced. They gave me an IV to get some fluids in me, did a Cat Scan, blood work and urinalysis. Everything came back positively glowing. The doctor was at a loss. They sent me home with some painkillers and nausea meds and told me to go back in 12 hours if my symptoms didn't improve.
Long story short, the next day I was still cramping but it was manageable and I otherwise felt totally normally. Still a little tired but I expected that. The day after that, no symptoms - completely well. I have had two other bizarre instances where my body was acting up but they never found a cause (I lost my appetite completely for about two weeks. I could barely get myself to eat). In all instances I didn't feel stressed but there were stressors circling around me. And that is where my lesson of learning to ration my internal resources comes into play. Happiness isn't a destination. I realized that the reason I wake up every morning with anxiety is my mind starts rattling everything I HAVE to do and the reality is that I don't HAVE to do any of it (for the most part). I'm switching from 'have to do' mindset to 'get to' or 'want to do.' And then I make peace with what I didn't get accomplished that day.
There is also the daily prepping that saves me time and the other mantra of keeping it simple. I do need to and WANT to keep it simple - hello crockpot! The second part to this post is the prep. I realized today that I spend most of my day preparing for lunch and dinner, snacks for when the kids get home, homework, metally preparing for Preston and arranging the timing of everything so it can all be done. I can either be bugged that I don't have much time for me or enjoy what I'm doing. I made a fresh onion dressing today for a pear and gorgonzola salad that took me maybe 15 minutes but oh how I enjoyed it! And I enjoyed making it because I knew the result was going to be fabulous! I loved vacuming last week because I learned that my 14-month-old thinks the vaccum is like a second pet and he loved following me around while I vacumed. I love having dinner ready to eat at 5:30pm because then I'm not doing dishes into the night and I can have some time with my kids. I'm just learning to enjoy making dinner in the morning or early afternoon, despite it being the Bermuda Triangle of activity at 4:00 pm.
Ration your self. Know your breaking points. Prepare and enjoy it. And remember stress does a number on your body when you don't even know it! And can you believe you how cute that kid is at my feet under the desk as I work?
The pear and gorgonzola salad I made today was so exciting. I bought some Italian Gorgonzola among other cheeses to have an indoor picnic with my husband over the weekend. The gorgonzola on its own was extremely strong. Once paired with the pear, it was absolute bliss. So, I found a light onion dressing to add to the two along with some leafy greens and chopped pecans and I devoured it. Right before I devoured my french dip sandwich (which is going to become a crock pot staple in this household from this point hence!) I will throw both recipes on my 'recipes' tab. *Note, none of the recipes are 'Brittany Originals,' I'm just not that clever and my goal is to keep the day rolling smoothly not experiment in the kitchen. So thanks to all those ladies out there that do and I get to enjoy the fruits of their labors!