Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Some Thoughts

Life Truth #1: There will be moments of good and moments of bad. Moments of absolute bliss and moments that I will wonder how I will survive. As frustrating a process as it is, it is the only way to grow. If we were never challenged or tested, how would we know what we are truly capable of? Hence the most likely reason that when it rains it pours because it is when everything happens at once that we are forced to dig deep and keep moving forward or give up and stay where we are if not fall backwards. I am grateful for the newly acquired knowledge that I have gained after the storms despite the despair I felt in the midst of it, but it is strength and knowledge I will pull on when challenged again.

Life Truth #2: As humans, we are pre-wired for struggle and with imperfections. We make mistakes over and over again, even after you'd think we'd learned our lesson. Even as adults. Yet I find myself all too often thinking or saying to my kids, "When are you going to learn?" or "How many times do we have to go through this?" None of us live without consequences to our actions and neither will they, but it is a good reminder to stop lecturing and let the consequences speak for themselves and remember how imperfect as parents we are also; which is a good reason why to give an increase of love after the wrong has been done.

Life Truth #3: We are all worthy of love. As hard as it can be to give our naughtiest kids love at various moments, they probably need it more than most. I know for me in all my roles as wife, mother, step-mother, friend, daughter, neighbor and so forth, I need to work hardest on loving myself and allowing myself to accept the love that people have to offer me as a person in all of these roles. We can't really offer all of ourselves and the love we have to give without being able to love who we are in spite of all of our pre-wiring for weakness, struggle and imperfection.

I wrote down some thoughts on my 'Life Truth's' today because these are what I remind myself of multiple times a day as I raise this child and my step-son. It helps me keep a clear perspective, helps me stay persistent, and helps me remember to use the tools I have learned for parenting when what I really want to do is lecture, yell, guilt-trip or whatever it may be in a heated moment. It happens. And I am grateful to read other parent's blogs that struggle just like I do. It is human; it is an imperfection and all we are expected to do and can do is our best. And our best changes from day to day. Some days we are capable of handling and doing more than others. Other days it takes every last ounce of energy and willpower to just slip by. This is okay. Give yourself credit for getting by - it takes alot. And then we have to forget about it, let go of any extra anger or grudges and wake up the next day and give it our next best shot. It's a 'new day, new jet' for everybody - especially ourselves. I read in a book recently that a half hour is the maximum amount of time to feel angry. I don't know if there is science behind it but I thought that sounded like a good time frame to me. All things I have to keep in my mind every hour of every day. 


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