Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Plan

I guess I should first make a big disclosure about little Preston and what ADHD looks like for him so we all have a better gauge on if the Mars Venus approach works for him. Oh, my little Preston. He has a good heart and a sweet spirit, truly. I know the 'true' Preston wants to help, is empathetic and wants to succeed. I only get glimpses of that Preston when he is having an 'on' day and his brain is doing a better job producing what it should be. These glimpses of the 'true' Preston are hard because it makes him seem like he is capable of, well, being a pretty normal eight-year-old. And that is the hardest part about ADHD is that these kids on most levels appear to be totally normal. But they aren't. Preston's psychologist mentioned to us once a conversation he had with a teen that had ADHD. He said that if there were two things he could tell parents of kids with ADHD it would be 1) Don't give up and 2) Don't judge them by their 'good' days.

Preston has always been a generally unhappy person. There is a huge depression piece for this kiddo. Emotionally, he is incredibly unregulated and has very erratic and impressive mood swings. The smallest of incidents can send him into a tail spin and he will have a full-blown temper tantrum complete with laying on the floor kicking and screaming. He will hit me and say terrible things about hating me, hating our family, wanting to run away, killing himself and even hurting our family. He has run away and has made other attempts at doing so. He has written in permanent marker on the walls at school, on himself, been threatened to be kicked off the bus for the year, pulled his pants down randomly during recess. He steals from family members (including money) and even from friends and the school and strugg;es telling the truth.

On a smaller scale, he can't stay focused and attentive in his class at school and is regularly in trouble with the teacher for disrupting the class and failing to complete his work. Strange and bizarre behavior is the norm for him in trying to get attention from friends and classmates. Getting him to bring home homework or turn in what we actually accomplish is nearly impossible. There are no organizational skills or executive-functioning skills; his room is always a wreck as is his desk and anywhere he has been. Generally life is unfair and he feels he shouldn't been made to help or do any work; life is strictly to do what he wants when he wants to.

Yes, to some degree, some of these behaviors and attitudes are normal eight-year-old attitudes. For those of you with children who have ADHD, you understand that this behavior is on an entirely different level with them. Managing these kids takes everything you have and takes a very heavy toll on the entire family. I have shed many tears of frustration, worry, fear, and sadness over my child and the welfare of my family. And my family, being a blended family with additional concerns and challenges is already in a delicate state. I want very much for people to understand that I DO NOT mean to villify my son by 'airing his dirty laundry' so to speak, but simply to let others know of what ADHD looks like in my situation and that you aren't alone! Calls from the principal, emails from the teacher, and the bus driver stopping at my house are normal. More than anything, I find the greatest comfort in talking to people who KNOW what I am going through and the pain and heartache that comes with it. And to those who don't understand, it isn't a lack of efficient parenting (although I know I have had my struggles); I have taken classes on effective parenting techniques that do help him and have saved my sanity. But in the end, it isn't enough because there is more to these kids than that. Handle with care!!

He has been a lot of work and entirely consuming and exhausting but I'm taking that one kids' advice and not giving up on my Preston or what I can do for him. Anything worthwhile doesn't come for free and it certainly doesn't come without hard work so on to the next! After listening to Dr. Gray's podcast I have laid out my plan below and I'm labeling it a 'cure' just for the sake of putting out the most positive energy into the universe I can.

THE CURE (not to be mistaken for the rock band)
Ha. I know, it was a bad joke.

1) Start on 300 mg of Grapefruit Seed Extract and 600 mg Vitamin C/day
GSE in capsule form from Vitamin Research Products, vrp.com
Vitamin C from Isagenix, C-Lyte, bodyalive.com/brittany
*Per Dr. Gray, this combination was tested in a double-blind study and proven to be more effective than Ritalin.

2) Lithium Orotate - 1 capsule 3 times/day
LO from Vitamin Research Products

3) Super Minerals from Mar Venus Wellness Solution, 2 capsules/day
Mar Venus Wellness Solution from Isagenix, bodyalive.com/brittany

4) Wellness Shake for Men, 1 shake/day
Mars Venus Wellness Solution from Isagenix

5) Super Cleanse, 2 times/day
Mars Venus Wellness Soltuion from Isagenix
*The super cleanse is meant to help the liver and the brain detoxify.

6) Vitex or Chaste Berry Extract
*Balances hormones in brain, particularly oxytocin.

7) Continue to teach him how to read food labels, make a raw fruits and veggies green smoothie every day, and encourage healthy fats and clean, whole foods.

2 comments:

  1. Wow Brittany...I talk to you all the time and am around Preston, yet I am astonished reading the detail of what you are going through. My heart goes out to you for not only dealing with a child with ADHD, but also trying to navigate the challenging waters of a blended family. Preston is SO lucky to have a Mom that cares so much and is working as hard as you are to make his life better. You are amazing Brittany! I am excited to see what this new chapter brings!!!

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  2. Thanks the Heidi. I guess I do avoid some of the specifics at times. Having the school bus parked out front of my house isn't really a high light in one's life. Nor is the brandishing of pampered chef weaponry by an 8-year-old. Hopefully this plan will work for him and put him going in a positive direction. Thanks!!

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