Friday, March 30, 2012

Finding Success in Small Moments

Well, we had a total meltdown last night over homework, again. Nothing new here. He started giving me lip so he took '8' and went nuts banging on the door and screaming horrible things (names, demands, more names). Wow. When he does that, I try to re-direct my attention and bridge or turn on some music or the TV and wait for the timer to tell me his time is up. There is nothing more I can do while he is down there losing it so I figure if he thinks I don't listen and he isn't actually pushing my buttons, he will eventually give it up. If he was calling me horrible names to my face, that's different. Sigh. The good news is that I totally kept my cool. That's something to celebrate and a success for me when he literally flips out.

I came across a wonderful quote today that I have never heard before but should have as it is by Winston Churchill (love that guy). It is very appropriate for this situation:

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

Let me say that I don't think I'm failing as a parent although in these dark and tough moments I sure feel like I am. But this struck a chord with me because Preston will continue on the path he is on for now and it is so very important for me to stay strong, use the tools and knowledge I have acquired on this journey, and to find a way to make each day pleasant. I realized this morning in the shower that the next 15 years of my life (at least) are going to be torture if I don't find a way to make peace with Preston's behavior (that isn't always within his control) and the disorder that plagues him and affects us all on a daily basis. Just like my Dad used to ignore my attitude so that it didn't sour his, I've got to do the same. Maybe I should talk to my Dad about that.

In the meantime, I guess in Churchill's words I see for me, success consisting of going from day to day without loss of enthusiasm and determination

It's spring break and he'll be home all day every day this week. Heaven help us all!

 

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