Had a lovely discussion with the psychologist this week regarding behavior modification and my need to do some 'tweaking.' So, the discussion included immediate rewards and immediate consequences. He knew well the cycle I have lapsed into which is giving Preston twelve chances at something (which means that I'm nagging about something twelve plus times). This gives both Preston and I the opportunity to reach an aggitated state which equals two people having melt-downs. This means I go back to steadfastly applying 1-2-3 Magic and after two warnings he goes to his bedroom to take eight (minutes). I did this later that day and he went to a time-out and read a book calmly while in there - no kicking and screaming, banging on the door or yacking.
And on that note, I found a fabulous quote from an article I found on http://www.attitudemag.org/ One mom would say to her child when the child said they hated her was: "Well, I love you enough for the both of us." And that was it. And with these kids that are so verbally nasty (and not everyone will understand that; there were SO MANY comments about how unacceptable it is that a child ever say such harsh things - they obviously don't have a child with ODD!), that's kind of all you can do. It's bait for these kids and they are gators in the water hoping you will jump in and fight them. As Jim Fay would say, "You can't argue with the ridiculous." We all love our kids. The other nugget of wisdom for today is that you will feed the problem (the child's behavior) with overly harsh or inconsistent discipline. Immediate, manageable consequences consistently.
Here's a toast to more good days than bad ones. And to us parents to keep our cool.